Is it just me or does it seem that much of the US air fleet is aging?

The plane I recently took for a 5 hour flight must have been built in Bedrock. Little screens folded down out of the ceiling for shows and my audio didn’t work. As I was thinking about that, a notice for some show popped up stating “Time Stood Still.” Great, but did it have to freeze in the 90’s? I mean, couldn’t time have picked a better moment to park itself, like when the DJIA was at 14,000? I suppose it could have been worse. I could have been in an uncovered wagon or at the Ice Capades.

I expected to see the pilot and copilot’s feet hanging below the cockpit for taxiing, especially as I gazed out the window and noticed a Dodo bird strapped to the wing as an engine.

Seriously, it’s not that I hate flying. I mean where else can you have such delicious food five miles above the Earth? I always wished they would serve beer and wings, or nachos, or basic sandwiches. Instead, we have some chef from Paris or New York trying to make his or her mark with arugula or kale. It seems to me that while they try, and they do try, there are some aspects of fine dining are vexed on an airplane — like crisp -40 degree silverware that freezes to the skin; never mind the kale. Do people really eat kale on purpose? I digress.

I don’t need fancy on an airplane. Fancy is for great friends, a great bottle of wine, and an over use of lecithin to make foamed sauces. I don’t want a fillet of beef that is over cooked; it’s like the steer gave up his life for nothing, almost as bad as shark’s fin anything. Oops, another digression.

All this made me think of those little packages of pepper. Salt works fine in packages like that, as it is sodium chloride, not an aromatic spice that rapidly loses the volatile compounds that differentiate it from sawdust. After thinking about it, I realized that there has to be something really dangerous about a pepper grinder. After all, I can’t be the first person to suggest using them. Perhaps I missed the board game where Monsieur Tourbillion was whacked in the kitchen with a pepper grinder instead of a candlestick. Those French are creative in the kitchen I tell ya. Relax… I’m getting closer to my point.

It’s funny, that unlike pepper grinders which are an old contrivance, your data deserves to be stored and handled in a better way. The little wax paper packages should be doomed to the Smithsonian or the British Museum of Technology Gone Wrong.  Besides, in the case of data storage newer technology allows better prioritization of services, like making sure the oven is left alone while the soufflé finishes, rather than being taken over by an aluminum sheet of Bagel Bites or Croissants stuffed with sausages.

In summary, I make the following important recommendations:

Transportation: Choose Modern Technology
Storage: Choose Modern Technology
Pepper: Choose Old Technology
Kale: No

See, I told you I’d get there.